24

It’s like Yesterday. I was a little guy, playing around, having more than a girl friend at the time and a trouble maker, not that i’m proud of, but i’m trying to face the truth that I’ve changed. I’m a grown man now. I’m gona be 24 in the third of April! yea! 24!! Sounds big ha?

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In a matter of fact I really think its big, I have achieved so many in 23, I have failed -god knows how many times-, I have made friends, and known a lot of people, got so many complements, have lied less, I made stuff that I was really proud of, and I have made a terrible terrible thing that till this day I have not forgave myself for doing.

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When I was 17, I asked my father to stop giving me cash, I force myself to work, they -My parents- never leave me alone, but I haven’t directly asked my old man for cash, I always go to mom asking for it, I and he knew that I get the cash from him, but still pretend that I’m a grown man who’s making money on his own, it was really funny how he treated me. I wanted him to treat me as a man while I was still a young lil fellow, just to make him proud.

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Lessons learned from the age 17: NEVER steal your mother’s car and ask why your father is angry. uh-uh. big mistake.

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I have started to think I’m too old when I hit 18, my ex girlfriend thought I was overreacting at then, I didnt see it that way. I wanted to show everyone that I’m a dependable, responsible  man. I work. I stand there for my girl. My beard is noticeable. I’m there to face my troubles – including police arresting my butt-. I’m 18!

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lessons learned from the age 18: when going through a fist fight. never break someone’s legs.

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Shitt got worse when my old man started to like the fact that i’m dependent. I was 19 at then. He sat with me – Look son, whether you be dependent and don’t send your mother to get money from me to buy cloths for yourself and your pocket money or you come ask for it directly! your my son, I love you, I’d love to give you everything I have- and guess how stupid my answer was. you guess probably right. -Thanks man! I love you too. but I think I’mma take it the hard way-.

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That when my life got complicated. BIG TIME. I knew I am different than the other guys when I was 19. I can’t set home. I cant not to have less than 2 jobs. I write. I make music. I have a girlfriend. and god damn I was broke.

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I forced myself to communicate and start to change my anger attitude. put all my shitt together to be a better man. Make music instead of beating other people. it actually worked. It was awful but my ex girlfriend said it was the best music she heard in her life. I bought that.

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I “really” didn’t know what I wanted to do in my life. I have so many energy, and everything I see -including movies- I want to be, I can’t really lie and say Its getting any better  now in that -wishing to be every super hero I see in the movies, expect for super man, he wears his underwear over his pants! and its red! fuck red! I hate red!”.

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Wow.. as I remember back then I wanted a lot of careers, loved a lot of them, really, here is some of the stuff I wanted to be – Pilot, Music producer, Graphic designer, Animator, Business man, Politician, Writer, Movie maker, Actor, senior manager at the company I used to work for, be a senior staff at the UN with a black suit and a black suitcase, cars dealer, singer, poet, founder of a NGO-. I’m 19!

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Lessons learned form the age 19:

* Never believe that your a loser. If you believed that, then you are a loser.

* It is not what I wanted to be, where wanted to go. its how much I work for it.

* Luck is when preparation meets an opportunity.

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God I’m old. I’m 20 now. Last time I cried was 2 years ago. I’m broke. and whenever I sleep mom comes and put money in my wallet and I get surprised. every time. -mom! I have extra cash! where does it come from! -It might be raining again-. and life has been really frustrated. I have worked with the silliest people in planet earth. they are older than me, talking about content writing details that makes me go sick “Latterly”.

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I was really feeling bad. everything is not going where I wanted it to be. not my million plans. not my career. not my study. not my love. and not anything. I’m just struggling with my biggest headache and think that I’m a loser – I heard it once or twice at then, I never believed it-. but as if its any complement, there were people of the age of 29 under my command and vision! I’m their MANAGER! I’m 20!

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Lessons learned from the age 20:

* Concentrate, Its way better.

* Open your wallet before you go out. dont wait to be out in the taxi and think that it rained last night. Big mistake.

* Never EVER waste a second in a job that is silly and your over qualified for it. it doesn’t really matter how old are you. its what you can do. and what you know you can do.

* you just can’t get married at 20,19,18, and 17 n a half. YOU CANT!

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I have a full beard now, I’m 21, work is becoming like a routine, money coming here and there. I’m at school thinking I’m way older than the other fellows. Big mistake. my best friend is my brother Hamza. I have a strong body. muscular. light dirty beard. lots of papers I dont really know from where in my wallet. it looks thick. It aint.

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My skills are getting REALLY good. I made some nice music. weird how I was unhappy. and whenever I go I think people follow me with their eyes while no one really gave a shit hahahahhahahahahahaha. anyway. I’m not gona make this article longer. I’m just gonna tell you what I have learned in the age of 23:

* Think big. work and hope for the best.

* It’s not how much money you have. its not how fast you can get money. its “how” you get the money.

* It’s not how many people you know. it’s how many people you know and there for you when you need them.

* When your about to crash, dont re-think of your plan. You have planed right, its just the price of what you call “success”.

* Don’t break people’s hearts with or without purpose. its really terrible. I cant live with it.

* I can’t dance. I’m sorry.

* I have learned that I am very close to achieve my goal. It’s just a matter of time. I will make it.

* A girl told me “Maher! GROW UP!”, she hurt me, really. but she’s right. I have to grow up.

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And now for my 24 to do list! its 24 things to do this year, I’m gonna tell you 16 :)

1-  Buy a nice car.

2- Make at least 6 products.

3- Go to the USA. Live for at least a month there.

4- Make my company ” Graphicji.com ” a company of 4 employees.

5- Call 2 people my best friends.

6- Scooba diving at the red sea.

7- Go to Petra, take the best photo I can get.

8- Get a female turtle for my turtle. he is a handsome turtle. anyone?

9- Read – Norman Finkelstein – The Holocaust Industry.

10- Make at least 35 websites.

11- Go to the gym and get my body look better. way better.

12- stop watching Cloverfeild. enough is enough.

13- Make 3 sound tracks, and 3 music pieces.

14- lie less.

15- quit smoking -for real-.

16- grow up.. :)

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I have greater knowledge that I ever had before. I wish I can be a better person.

Sorry for the long article.

Maher.